


wait

by dokaisoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Friendship/Love, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:21:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23373832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dokaisoo/pseuds/dokaisoo
Summary: is it too late to say i loved you too?.one day and everything collapses. kyungsoo is now alone and everything starts to make sense. could have been different if someone had said the right words?
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Kudos: 12





	wait

13 october  
hi, im sorry i took so long this time, and that i cant go personally there. you wouldnt mind right?  
the other day i remembered of you, when passing by the airport shop, do you know that one with the bears? i stopped and bought one for you. i made sure to package it well with the letter so you are now probably with it. do you like it?. im sure you do.  
a strange feeling came with it, actually i felt sad when i remembered that.  
you told me you liked bears and i told you that you were childish, cause you were. innocent like a child. i guess thats why i always let you win, and we ended buying one anyways  
when you handed me that bear i didnt knew how much it meant to you  
when you walked by my side at night with it till we got to my house, even tho yours was the opposite way.  
when you drank with me those coffees even tho, your mom told me once when i was waiting for you to change clothes upstairs. that you hated coffee  
i bought that bear to tell you that i remember you, and those things  
jonginah, do you mind if i tell you just now this?  
-kyungsoo

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

21 october  
the sun was bright today, it made your skin shine.  
it may sound weird i saw you like that, but i know you wouldnt mind. right?.  
when was the last time you tinted your hair haha its still green on the tips, its funny. its looks cute on you tho. your brown hair roots looks so warm under the light.  
its soft still. your hair, your face  
i wrote this so you wouldnt complain later that i didnt came. you didnt saw me but i did.  
remember all those rides on the bus from school? i told you to not make noise and let me sleep and wake me up when we got there all the time.  
i opened my eyes from time to time a little, cause i didnt trust you to wake me up on time. since that day when we lost our stop. i saw you on the window reflect. and i knew why.  
you were busy looking at me, sometimes you laughed others you looked sad, other days, you actually looked at the road.  
i thought i was funny to watch, but now that i see you on the same way  
i understand why  
so i know you wouldnt mind about it, right jonginnie?  
im sorry i couldnt stay that much to see you wake up  
did you wake up?  
-love, kyungsoo 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

23 october  
i dont know if you are still mad at me, and that just makes me want to go back and apologise again, and again  
yesterday i had a nightmare  
it was you, on the sand, wearing those same clothes, i ran to you but it took you further and further till i couldn't saw you anymore.  
and i waked up scared once again.  
would you read my letters?  
would you ever call me again and tell me everything is okay?  
i know why you could be mad and im sorry  
tell me im not late  
jonginah you know my heart right?

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3 november  
have i told you that i was that one person that followed you on spotify? hahaha  
you have good taste tho  
actually now that i have time to replay it  
you have a lot to say dont you?  
i know it sounds weird but sometimes i felt like you knew i could hear  
and that makes me angry at you and myself  
at you for not telling me, at me for not asking.  
im being delusional do you think? time just make me rethink everything again, and realize a lot about you jonginah. makes me want to believe i wasnt that stupid, but you were smarter than me to hide.  
jonginah, were you mad then, for me being like that?  
-kyungsoo

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4 november  
im at the bar haha you will laugh, who writes a damn letter on the bar? hahah i know  
your mom called me today on the hallway, when i was going to your place.  
she cried on my shoulder jonginah. and i wanted to cry too but i couldnt, so thats why im here now. you know i dont like to cry where people can see.  
her face reminded me of you and i almost break in tears even more.  
remember when you cried cause your ballet performance wasnt 100 percent perfect but 99, and i laughed until i realized your tears and stopped  
when you cried cause you break your ankle and couldnt dance for too long?  
when your dad died and you cried your heart out on my shoulders and i just sang a lullaby and patted you back till you felt asleep?  
i cried then too  
you will know now for sure why i took so long in the toilet those times, all those "lenses are messing with me" times.  
and when you asked if i was fine and i told you i was that it was you the one we should worry about, you used to nod and got back to sit on silence and maybe sleep again.  
you knew it right?  
you always knew, its that why you hugged me tighter? why you offered to cook even tho you sucked at it, and you were sad still?  
why i feel like the worst? ....i should i guess  
whisky tastes sour  
and soju too  
life is so sour  
pd:im getting drunk i dont know if i should let you know this,  
\- doh kyungsoo

\----------------------------------------------------------------

kyungsoo ran through the hallways, his head still rang from the hangover, but it didnt care  
he ran as fast as ever  
when he entered the room agitated still, he saw jongin's mom sitting next to the bed, holding on a hand that didnt hold back  
his ears rang again  
he stepped closer till jongin's face was under his  
-jonginah?- the boys eyelids moved a little almost unseen  
he looked at mrs kim who just nodded with tears on her eyes  
-jonginah- he screamed now and took jongin head between his hands.  
the doctor came in rushed and made him apart  
he loosened from his hold  
-sir, it was probably a reflect, it had happened before, you shouldnt - the doctor looked at jongin and then his mother  
-but doctor- his mother cried- he opened his eyes- she cried and hold on jongin's hand tighter  
-i dont think mrs kim, i know you haven't slept and this is stressing but i dont think he di-  
-i saw he moved- kyungsoo screamed from behind, and got next to jongin bed again and tried to hold on his hand  
-as i told you before... -the doctor pressed his own forehead with his fingers.- reflect can happen  
as they look again at the boy that seemed peacefully sleeping without notice, they sighed heartbroken.  
-i know what i saw kyungsooah- mrs kim holded his arm and whispered with teary eyes, she was pale, so pale  
-i believe you- kyungsoo had get used to this, but he never lost an opportunity to check every time, if it was true.he wanted to believe too.  
that for once he will not be late 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7 november  
after that day and the hangover i remembered of that night, on your birthday  
you never liked alcohol but that night you seemed to want to get drunk  
i told you to stop, and you throw my hand away  
of course i would take care of you anyways if you got drunk, but i didnt liked the way you looked, and thats why i wanted you to stop  
you looked at me with those hard eyes when i told you about that girl that didnt stopped looking in our way, the one you told me about earlier, that looks at you on ballet classes, she was there too  
you looked away and continue drinking  
you sighed and asked "what do you think about her", i told you she was pretty  
you laughed and answered a bitter "..of course, as i thought"  
you looked at me again and asked " and me? how do i look?"  
i pinched your arm and told you to stop asking nonsense, i sighed and admitted after a pout of yours that you were handsome, cause thats the truth and im sure that you know that  
you took one more sip and looked at her way and then at me "would you date me?"  
i got scared for seconds and i dont know why, because the question was if you were handsome enough for her to date you  
i took a sip of my drink and answered "of course" and laughed  
but you didnt  
i thought you were drunk and moody, but that look kept on your face even days after  
maybe its because im thinking too much, but what if i understood wrong?  
did all your hypothetical and dating questions about you and those girls always about something else?  
i didnt told you back then but everytime you share all those anecdotes about classmates at the dancing salon flirting with you, something hitched in my chest  
and i dont know if you saw it  
and if you did, i dont know why you never gave up to see my reactions and answers  
even when i tried play cool and laugh and the answers werent the ones i wanted to give, and the ones you wanted to hear  
but i was scared and i saw in your eyes you were too  
i want to see your eyes again and that look to never appear  
i was scared to lose you  
and now im terrified to lose you without letting to know

please come back, jonginnie  
-kyungsoo

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

15 november  
tonight i'm staying with you, your mom had not sleep so i told her to go.  
its crazy how peaceful you look after all this, every time  
i dont know if you wanted to wake up but couldnt, or maybe you are paying me back all the suffer and playing on dreamland for longer.  
its freezing out there  
i know you liked to hear me sing so today i will  
i remember how nervous i got when you stared at me everytime i sang, even tho there where a lot of eyes looking, yours made me so uneasy that i hated it, but still loved the way you looked at me.  
now its easier  
you just have to listen and now i'll be the one looking at you, admiring and loving you.  
its about to snow, at least that's what the tv said, so maybe the song "wait" fits, without the snow still does.  
i think im copying you now haha using the song as the messenger.... but im a coward, you were not  
im doing it when you cant tell me nothing you did it when i should have told you something  
if you wake up and see me tearing ill tell i cried cause im crying, in front of you. who would had thought?  
i want you to wake up and tell me its not late  
that never it's too late to say i love you back  
cause i love you jongin,  
im sorry  
but i love you

when the car crash happened kyungsoo was already out of seoul  
when jongin was speeding to the airport with tears on his eyes cause kyungsoo decided to leave, kyungsoo was buying a water bottle and checking on why jongin did not respond his news about getting that job overseas.  
when jongin closed his eyes for months, kyungsoo opened his.

kyungsoo was in the last verse of the song when the hand on his hold moved and tried to hold back tighter  
the snow was weakly starting to fall  
kyungsoo looked from the window to jongin with big eyes, still wet  
jongin opened his eyes weakly, his look was soft as he just woken up from a dream  
kyungsoo touched his own eyes and looked again  
jongin eyes were open still  
-jonginah- he hold his cheek with the free hand  
-hy..hyung-jongin voice was raspy and low like a whisper  
-jonginnie i lo-  
-ple..ase dont leave- he closed his eyes shortly and opened them again  
kyungsoo let go jongin's hand and took his face on his hands  
-i wont jongin i wont - tears fell from his eyes and landed on jongins cheek  
-you..-jongin smiled slightly amused, like he used all his force to- you crying?  
kyungsoo laughed and kissed his cheek  
\- yes i am- he kissed his cheek again and pressed the nurse bottom  
-do..dont cry- jongin pressed kyungsoo's cheek with his thumb  
-ever again- kyungsoo said with a smile  
the nurses steps could be heard on the hallway  
-im not late right? -kyungsoo smiled as tears filled his eyes again cause he realises how much he really missed those eyes  
jongin looked at him in wonder  
-you know that i love you too right jonginah?

**Author's Note:**

> ......so i was listening to wait at 3am and i miss them


End file.
